Cover -- Title Page -- Dedication -- Contents -- Intro -- Belated backstory -- Heavy lifting -- Punctum -- Tonight, Matthew -- Chris Tse and His Imaginary Band -- Artist's impression of the poet is not drawn to scale -- Like a queen -- I was a self-loathing poet -- Selfie with landscape -- MASC -- This house -- Summer nights with knife fights -- Performance-Part 2 -- The compulsive liar's autobiography -- Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! -- Thunder's soul clap -- I.R.L. -- The saddest song in the world -- Present tension -- New mythology -- I want things that won't make me happy -- Lupine -- I made it through the wilderness -- Fast track -- Desire -- Boy meets wolf -- Choose your own adventure -- A star like no other -- Distance getting close -- Release -- Astronaut -- The opposite of music -- MacGuffin -- Still-the boys -- Notes for Taylor Swift, should she ever write a song about me -- Sweetheartbreaker -- Next year's colours -- Spot the difference-Answers -- Crying at the disco -- Ends, actually -- Spanner-A toast -- Wolf spirit-Fade out -- Notes and acknowledgements -- Copyright.